Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson (hello, AdSense) are both still hot.
Note that I did not say they dress well.
I did not say they were intelligent.
I did not say they can sing.
I did not say they have taste.
I did not say they have style.
I did not say their hair bears any resemblance to actual hair.
I did not deny that they are white trash.
I did not suggest in any way that they have any decision-making skills whatsoever.
But nevertheless, their hotness remains. And for this, I salute them.
n.b. to ^kat^: A few ill-chosen Kodak moments does not an unhot woman make. Or need I remind you of some pictures I have of a certain someone posing in furry boots? Or balancing a fake cockroach on her nose? If you like, I could post those photos on the blog -- or better yet, www.hotornot.com -- and we could let the masses decide....
PS to ST: Sorry, no birthday ideas coming to mind.
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2 comments:
Ladies, I think Matt needs an intervention of some kind. These things he's saying... they look like legitimate words and phrases, but they read like nonsense. Seriously, dude, have you SEEN the Britney/Matt Lauer interview? Or un-airbrushed photos of Jessica outside of your little Maxim magazine or whatever it's called? I mean, we all have our celebrity crushes (*crosses another day off her calendar till the next Pirates of the Caribbean film arrives*), but PLEASE redirect your attentions to some ladies with a little more class. I recommend watching Match Point or Closer to remind yourself that there are non-white-trashy ladies in Hollywood who are genuinely attractive. (Also, those movies are both kind of depressing, so that might also help keep that scandalously rampant libido of yours in check.)
Oh, believe you me, I don't find anything wrong with Natalie Portman (I recently decided that my ideal celebrity foursome would include NP, Keira Knightley, Elisabeth Hasselback, and yours truly) (and by foursome, I do not mean golfing group). I don't really care for Scarlett Johansson (I think it's the fact that her head is shaped like one of the aliens in Close Encounters coupled with the fact the always looks/sounds like she is half asleep) (also the fact that I haven't really liked any of her movies), but that is really beside the point.
That said, I would still not kick either JS or BS out of bed. Clearly your answer implies the fundamental female confusion of which I mean to disavow you all for good, which is the mixing-up of class and hotness. Guys may care about the former when looking for a lifelong commitment, but in terms of a roll in the hay, only the latter comes into play (I should write nursery rhymes).
And yes, I have seen the Matt Lauer interview. And yes, I would still happily shack up with Britney for a romantic weekend based on her appearance in that interview.
So there.
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